Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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