ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
