yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
