we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I pour the whiskey from now on
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
