you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
