when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
