Apparently you make a good broom.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
