Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
