he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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