If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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