Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
