The beer is more important than you right now.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
ttyl tear gas
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
