I wanna passion pit in your ass
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I could make wine with my vomit
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
