That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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