she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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