Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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