What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
