You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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