i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
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I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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