We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
