ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
