Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
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he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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