She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
