he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
