apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
