is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
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America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
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You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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