I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
