No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
