I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize