i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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