I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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