summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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