i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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