I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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