I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
