Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
