in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
