Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you win again, gameday.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
