I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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