I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
