It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
