I am full of burrito and curiosity
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
