just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Mom said you looked used
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
