If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Success! We fucked roommates!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
