So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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