I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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