I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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