Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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