Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
