CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
