Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
