Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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