I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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