we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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