I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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