Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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