We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
