I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
