I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
