I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We got so high we made milksteak
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
