Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize